Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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