You can't special order awesome
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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