Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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