just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
