I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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