I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
