He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
