not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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