Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
pop tarts are not kleenex
it glows. i had to have it.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
