Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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