I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
