before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
