Duck Duck Cougar?
You can't special order awesome
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I need to calm my uterus...
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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