He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
