ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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