Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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