After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize