I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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