would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
She told me I should be a condom model.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize