Have you finally orgasmed yet?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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