he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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