Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Randomize
