I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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