I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Barsexuality is the new black.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize