This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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