Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Everyone says I win the strip club
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Randomize
