i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
