Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
