so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Terrible idea I love it
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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