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• (917): View more from New York City

  so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together

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• (925): View more from California

  Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.

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• (606): View more from Kentucky

  can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?

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• (973): View more from New Jersey

  casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Why is there a horse in the backyard?

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.

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• (269): View more from Michigan

  Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.

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• (310): View more from California

  Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE

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