I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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