I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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