Got a toothbrush?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
What a dumb baby whore.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize