I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
