omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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