He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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