Yo dont text me then not text me
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize
