its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
