They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
i think i just lost a toe
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