i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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