brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
