I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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