she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
