Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You're like the curious george of whores
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
