Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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