She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize