I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
