I want to stick my p in your. b.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
