i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
