i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
he had hair everywhere except his balls
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
