he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
