Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
