Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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