Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
