doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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