I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
