you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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