need another drink. this is the easiest way
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
