I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
