so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The dick lei will go down in squad history
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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