I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
