Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
