We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
