The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
