So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
