YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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