garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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