OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
