K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I cockslap morals
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
