At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I am midnight drunk by noon
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
