Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
