Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
