Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
